Parents or Spouses of Individuals Struggling with Eating Disorders
Parents, families and spouses do not cause eating disorders. Eating disorders are complex conditions that arise from a variety of factors, including psychological, physiological, interpersonal, social, and cultural issues. That said, there are things parents and spouses can do to facilitate recovery.
Often parents or spouses of individuals dealing with eating disorders report feeling like they are walking on egg-shells. Sometimes they can feel like they are being manipulated by the person's behaviors. At times, parents or spouses may go to great lengths to keep the peace by not making demands or by not addressing inappropriate behavior. This can result in a build-up of frustration and anger which will likely erupt in a way that won’t help the situation. In therapy, I help family members learn that any subject or concern can be discussed provided it is done in a boundaried, respectful way.
As a parent or spouse, you will likely feel very anxious and concerned about the individual’s recovery. You may want to jump in and try to rescue the person but feel helpless and unable to do so. These are common feelings among family members. The best course of action is to make yourself available to the individual without becoming focused on his/her recovery. This is a difficult balancing act but one that is helpful to recovery. Therapy helps family members create and maintain this balance during the recovery process.
How Media impacts on Eating Disorders, Body Image, Dieting Issues and Obesity
Media messages don’t cause eating disorders or issues around eating but they provide a cultural context in which people learn to make strong associations between their identity and self-worth and their size and shape. The media has helped to create an ideal of womanhood and manhood that has been so successful marketed that men and women tend to lose sight of their own attractiveness, their uniqueness and their inherent value. John Berger’s comment that “advertisements take away the love a woman has for herself and sells it back to her for the price of the product” provides a valuable perspective on today’s media. People sometimes believe they are immune to advertising because they experience it daily. Consider the following:
- A study of 4,295 network television commercials showed that 1 out of every 3.8 commercials comments on what is attractive or not attractive (as cited in Myers et al., 1992, Journal of Communication) These researchers estimate that the average individual sees over 5260 attractiveness messages per year. (As there are more commercials than ever in 2007, I expect that the number of “attractiveness messages” have increased considerably since this study was done.)
- According to a recent survey of adolescent girls, their main source of information about women’s health issues comes from the media (Commonwealth Fund, 1997, In Their Own Words; Adolescent Girls Discuss Health and Health Care Issues.)
- A study of mass media magazines discovered that women’s magazines had 10.5 more advertisements and articles promoting weight loss than men’s magazine did (as cited in Guillen & Barr, 1994, Journal of Adolescent Health)
People of all ages today are under much more pressure to conform to a media ideal than any other generation. We are in a consumer-oriented culture which promotes a high degree of anxiety regarding physical appearance. Tending to one’s physical appearance or pampering oneself is positive and nurturing provided it comes from a place of self-love. The problem arises when people are more focussed on some external notion of beauty or acceptability rather than their own internal standards for beauty and self-acceptance.
While media producers, distributors and retailers have contributed to the problem, they have also been responsive to public concerns. If you would like information on eating disorder issues or would like to join others interested in working with the media to promote better body image, visit the following websites:
